The Calm the Chaos Bootcamp is almost here!  The bootcamp starts on April 20th.  Inside the bootcamp, you'll get:

• Step-by-step teaching on how to regulate your nervous system and your child's in real time
• Clear strategies you can use immediately when your child is  melting down
• Live coaching sessions where I walk through real parent situations and show you exactly what to do
• Access to a private community space so you can ask questions, get support, and see how other parents are applying the work

This is not just learning concepts. You will see what this looks like in real life and get support as you practice it

I’ll be sharing more in the community feed this week so keep an eye out.

April Parent Question: Why won't my child listen?. 

I received a question this month from a community member who is struggling with her preschooler not listening.

If this is happening in your home, it’s not random. There are a few specific reasons behind it.

If your child can listen sometimes, it’s easy to assume they’re choosing not to. In reality, their ability to listen changes based on what’s going on in their brain and body in that moment.

Here’s what that looks like.

First, your child works harder to hold it together outside the home.

At school or with other adults, they are using a lot of energy to follow directions and meet expectations.

When they get home, that effort drops. You see more pushback, more emotions, and less cooperation.

Second, listening is a multi-step process, not a simple choice.

Your child has to:

• Shift attention away from what they’re doing
• Understand what you said
• Manage any frustration about stopping
• Get their body to follow through

If they’re tired, distracted, or overwhelmed, that process breaks down.

Third, you matter more.

Your tone, your reactions, and your patterns carry more weight than anyone else’s.

If things tend to escalate between you and your child, they start to expect that pattern and respond faster and bigger each time.

So what can you do differently?

Start here:

• Get their attention before you give a direction
  Say their name. Get eye level. Pause until you know they’re with you. Most parents skip this step and then repeat themselves five times
• Use fewer words and be clear
  Long explanations overwhelm processing. Short, direct instructions are easier to follow through on
• Hold the boundary without adding energy
  If your child pushes back, stay steady. The more emotion you add, the harder it is for them to recover and follow through

This is the difference between trying to control behavior and actually building the skills your child needs to listen over time